Round 2 Begins

Starting Round 2 was both easier and harder than starting Round 1.

I had a celebratory weekend where I allowed myself to splurge a bit on wheat products and grown-up beverages, though much less quantity than I would have regularly eaten before starting this. (I started to write out what I had eaten, but seeing the list – even a partial list – made me feel ashamed. I’m almost equally ashamed for deleting the list, but I just couldn’t post it. Good lesson for next time, methinks.)

The easy part:
Throughout the weekend, all the way through Monday morning, I FELT LIKE MEGA POO. Bloaty, headachy, bogged down, short-tempered… after all of that, I was SO READY to get back on the plan and feel good again.

The hard part:
Then Day 1 of Round 2 started, and all I wanted was crap I couldn’t have, like croissants with butter, frozen yogurt, cheeseburgers... I felt myself getting in to my old, defiant “I-can-do-whatever-I-wanna-do” mentality. (Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!)

I actually said aloud (quietly) at some point, (a la Dana Carvey’s George Bush impression), “Not gonna do it!” and I was miraculously able to stave off that immature inner voice and get a decent chuckle out of the deal. (I did have a bite of peanut butter cookie they were sampling at the café by my office, though… I know it isn’t much, but I don’t do “moderation” well yet, so even a taste is a slippery slope.)

The lesson(s):
Maybe to healthy people it isn’t a big deal to avoid these foods for a whole day, but to me it is a ginormous, epic victory, every. single. day. A month and a half ago I would have caved to the cravings and justified it by thinking something like “one treat isn’t a big deal,” “maybe I’m overweight, but I’m still healthy,” or “I’m a grownup – I can eat what I want.” I now recognize that, for me at least, those are immature and unhealthy excuses. Did I get satisfaction from eating those foods this weekend? Nope. Every bite was disappointing and laden with guilt and shame.

Now that I’m on Day 2, I’m back to eating well, feeling good, and (nearly) free of the cravings again. Our Round 2 six-week calendar is on the fridge and 2 days of exercise has been logged. I’m proud of myself again.

Random motivation…
I went to scratch the front of my shoulder and, instead of squishy fat yielding to the pressure of my fingertip, I felt (relatively) firm pectoral muscle. Muscle! On me!! YAY!