Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Eff this. I'm back, baby!
I am severely disappointed in myself. I let myself slip into old habits this summer and gained back some of what I lost (exact amount TBD). Yesterday, I realized I was walking like a fat person again, and my pants were starting to feel a bit snug. NOT OK.
So today, I'm back on the plan. My short term goal is to lose 6 lbs by my twins' 6th birthday in 28 days.
Challenges right now include:
1) Cafeteria with easy access to unhealthy food
2) Neighboring coworker with a candy dish, which is ALWAYS filled with chocolate
3) Lots of nummy coffee creamers at work
4) New schedule makes it hard to get up to work out in the morning.
So, back to earlier bedtimes, lots of produce, and my mantra of CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
2 Rounds, 20 Pounds
It's been 84 days since I started this plan. I haven't been perfect the whole time; I've had more than a few indulgent self-pity days, but even then I was better than I was before I started.
My second round was not as productive as the first. I didn't really expect it to be, especially since we relaxed the rules a bit (like allowing wine and small amounts of sugar few times a week, which we cut out again when we stopped seeing any results).
I have rather severe plantar faciitis and it turned out most of the exercises I was doing (Tai Chi, dancing/cardio, and some yoga poses) were straining my feet even more. Some of the exercises I was doing was also making my carpal tunnel flare up, too, and I badly injured my arm (nearly broke it!) that made some exercises, and just regular life activities like picking up my children, impossible.
I know that sounds like I'm making excuses. And I did for a few weeks. Due to these pains, I was actually quite dejected for much of the second round, which I allowed to turn into lethargy and overeating. And feeling like crap. Which started the whole stupid cycle I used to fall into.
However, the point is that I got over it. Lol!
I actually saw half of this round's results in just the last week. I attribute a lot of that to getting my husband's birthday present (early): ExerBeat for the Wii! It has a bunch of exercises that I can do that are easy on my feet and wrists, but still challenging and fun. And I can build my own workout! There are a TON of exercises, so as my feet and wrists heal, I will stay entertained with new stuff for a long time. (I've learned that I have to introduce new fun tech into my workouts and eating plans periodically to keep me interested, lol). Also, it's pseudo educational (you actually earn points to travel to cities around the world and learn random facts!) and the kids LOVE LOVE LOVE it.
At the moment, I am feeling really good right now and ready to start round 3! After the hubby's birthday party tomorrow. ;)
My second round was not as productive as the first. I didn't really expect it to be, especially since we relaxed the rules a bit (like allowing wine and small amounts of sugar few times a week, which we cut out again when we stopped seeing any results).
I have rather severe plantar faciitis and it turned out most of the exercises I was doing (Tai Chi, dancing/cardio, and some yoga poses) were straining my feet even more. Some of the exercises I was doing was also making my carpal tunnel flare up, too, and I badly injured my arm (nearly broke it!) that made some exercises, and just regular life activities like picking up my children, impossible.
I know that sounds like I'm making excuses. And I did for a few weeks. Due to these pains, I was actually quite dejected for much of the second round, which I allowed to turn into lethargy and overeating. And feeling like crap. Which started the whole stupid cycle I used to fall into.
However, the point is that I got over it. Lol!
I actually saw half of this round's results in just the last week. I attribute a lot of that to getting my husband's birthday present (early): ExerBeat for the Wii! It has a bunch of exercises that I can do that are easy on my feet and wrists, but still challenging and fun. And I can build my own workout! There are a TON of exercises, so as my feet and wrists heal, I will stay entertained with new stuff for a long time. (I've learned that I have to introduce new fun tech into my workouts and eating plans periodically to keep me interested, lol). Also, it's pseudo educational (you actually earn points to travel to cities around the world and learn random facts!) and the kids LOVE LOVE LOVE it.
At the moment, I am feeling really good right now and ready to start round 3! After the hubby's birthday party tomorrow. ;)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A minor hiccup
After a weekend eating and drinking things I shouldn’t have, by Monday I felt like poo and was very down on myself for indulging too much. More than that, I was afraid I was losing control of what I had worked so hard to do for the last couple months – that I was slipping back into the unhealthy eating habits I used to have. In addition, my plantar faciitis has been even worse this week, and my carpal tunnel hasn’t gotten any better, so I'd had to modify my workouts even more to avoid further injury.
And then I stepped on the scale on Monday morning and was not happy at what I saw – I had gained back both pounds I’d lost the week before. Sure, it’s normal to fluctuate a bit, and sure, I am at a particular point in my cycle looks the worst on the scale, but I was still pissed off. I was so pissed off I couldn’t write about it, which is saying a lot for me!
Now that it’s a few days later, and I’ve been back on the healthy food and (modified) exercise plan, I’m finally making myself write this. I am still a bit concerned that I couldn’t hold to the plan like I wanted to, but that is being evened out by my much better choices this week (I even passed up free candy bars!).
One other thing I’m pretty happy about is what I did after seeing that scale number. My previous M.O. was to see the number, get frustrated, whisper “fuck you, scale” while glaring at it, and go back to slothing around and eating whatever I wanted.
THIS TIME, I saw the number, got frustrated, said “fuck you, scale,” and WENT BACK ON THE FREAKING PLAN.
As you might surmise from my excessive use of cap lock, this is a big deal for me.
I’m still apprehensive about measuring and weighing in this weekend, but I won't let that stop me from making better choices.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Round 2 Begins
Starting Round 2 was both easier and harder than starting Round 1.
I had a celebratory weekend where I allowed myself to splurge a bit on wheat products and grown-up beverages, though much less quantity than I would have regularly eaten before starting this. (I started to write out what I had eaten, but seeing the list – even a partial list – made me feel ashamed. I’m almost equally ashamed for deleting the list, but I just couldn’t post it. Good lesson for next time, methinks.)
The easy part:
Throughout the weekend, all the way through Monday morning, I FELT LIKE MEGA POO. Bloaty, headachy, bogged down, short-tempered… after all of that, I was SO READY to get back on the plan and feel good again.
The hard part:
Then Day 1 of Round 2 started, and all I wanted was crap I couldn’t have, like croissants with butter, frozen yogurt, cheeseburgers... I felt myself getting in to my old, defiant “I-can-do-whatever-I-wanna-do” mentality. (Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!)
I actually said aloud (quietly) at some point, (a la Dana Carvey’s George Bush impression), “Not gonna do it!” and I was miraculously able to stave off that immature inner voice and get a decent chuckle out of the deal. (I did have a bite of peanut butter cookie they were sampling at the café by my office, though… I know it isn’t much, but I don’t do “moderation” well yet, so even a taste is a slippery slope.)
The lesson(s):
Maybe to healthy people it isn’t a big deal to avoid these foods for a whole day, but to me it is a ginormous, epic victory, every. single. day. A month and a half ago I would have caved to the cravings and justified it by thinking something like “one treat isn’t a big deal,” “maybe I’m overweight, but I’m still healthy,” or “I’m a grownup – I can eat what I want.” I now recognize that, for me at least, those are immature and unhealthy excuses. Did I get satisfaction from eating those foods this weekend? Nope. Every bite was disappointing and laden with guilt and shame.
Now that I’m on Day 2, I’m back to eating well, feeling good, and (nearly) free of the cravings again. Our Round 2 six-week calendar is on the fridge and 2 days of exercise has been logged. I’m proud of myself again.
Random motivation…
I went to scratch the front of my shoulder and, instead of squishy fat yielding to the pressure of my fingertip, I felt (relatively) firm pectoral muscle. Muscle! On me!! YAY!
I had a celebratory weekend where I allowed myself to splurge a bit on wheat products and grown-up beverages, though much less quantity than I would have regularly eaten before starting this. (I started to write out what I had eaten, but seeing the list – even a partial list – made me feel ashamed. I’m almost equally ashamed for deleting the list, but I just couldn’t post it. Good lesson for next time, methinks.)
The easy part:
Throughout the weekend, all the way through Monday morning, I FELT LIKE MEGA POO. Bloaty, headachy, bogged down, short-tempered… after all of that, I was SO READY to get back on the plan and feel good again.
The hard part:
Then Day 1 of Round 2 started, and all I wanted was crap I couldn’t have, like croissants with butter, frozen yogurt, cheeseburgers... I felt myself getting in to my old, defiant “I-can-do-whatever-I-wanna-do” mentality. (Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!)
I actually said aloud (quietly) at some point, (a la Dana Carvey’s George Bush impression), “Not gonna do it!” and I was miraculously able to stave off that immature inner voice and get a decent chuckle out of the deal. (I did have a bite of peanut butter cookie they were sampling at the café by my office, though… I know it isn’t much, but I don’t do “moderation” well yet, so even a taste is a slippery slope.)
The lesson(s):
Maybe to healthy people it isn’t a big deal to avoid these foods for a whole day, but to me it is a ginormous, epic victory, every. single. day. A month and a half ago I would have caved to the cravings and justified it by thinking something like “one treat isn’t a big deal,” “maybe I’m overweight, but I’m still healthy,” or “I’m a grownup – I can eat what I want.” I now recognize that, for me at least, those are immature and unhealthy excuses. Did I get satisfaction from eating those foods this weekend? Nope. Every bite was disappointing and laden with guilt and shame.
Now that I’m on Day 2, I’m back to eating well, feeling good, and (nearly) free of the cravings again. Our Round 2 six-week calendar is on the fridge and 2 days of exercise has been logged. I’m proud of myself again.
Random motivation…
I went to scratch the front of my shoulder and, instead of squishy fat yielding to the pressure of my fingertip, I felt (relatively) firm pectoral muscle. Muscle! On me!! YAY!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
FIRST ROUND COMPLETE!
WOOT! I made it through the first round! 42 days down, FOURTEEN POUNDS GONE! (See the progress tab to see all the stats).
I finally had some drinky drink and wheat this weekend and it made me feel bloaty and sad. Soooo... I'm back on the plan! I think I may allow for a glass of wine now and then, though! :)
Here's our Round 1 chart:
I finally had some drinky drink and wheat this weekend and it made me feel bloaty and sad. Soooo... I'm back on the plan! I think I may allow for a glass of wine now and then, though! :)
Here's our Round 1 chart:
Going to print out a Round 2 chart later today and get my first Round 2 workout done!
I'm so damn proud. :)
Monday, April 23, 2012
Day 37 - On Cravings
First, some random Day 37 tidbits that may or may not interest you:
I slept too late and missed my workout this morning. I feel weird and sort of uncomfortable/stiff without it. I am both exhausted and exhilarated.
Even after a full, active weekend, it’s a Monday and I have energy. This is a new feeling for me.
After my experimental week with only tea, my one cup of coffee this morning made me jittery, tense, and a bit queasy. I may cut back to half-caf or switch back to tea entirely.
My appetite has severely decreased to what is probably a normal healthy-person level. My three-quarter cup of steel-cut oats with raisins, honey, and milk was almost too much, and was certainly too sweet* (a sensation I’ve almost never experienced). I’m actually looking forward to a light, crispy salad for lunch. Weird.
ON CRAVINGS
I used to crave various foods virtually all day, every day. I constantly thought about ice cream, buttery popcorn, pizza, cheeseburgers, chips, chocolate, etc., and felt near powerless to resist their call. My thought process would simply go: “I want ___.” And I’d get. And eat it. All.
I’ve read that certain foods - like sugar (especially processed sugar like high fructose corn syrup), fake sweeteners, fried food, processed grains, and salt – trigger your body to both shut off the “fullness” response and to crave more sweet/rich/salty foods. Vicious cycle much?
Aaaaaanyway... after cutting out a great deal of that kind of food for a few weeks, I think I’ve broken the cycle! I’m feeling very few cravings, and actually desire to eat more produce and leaner meats. I now better understand how people can eat healthy, how people can think of something greasy or sweet or rich as “too much.” I can even see how people can have treats in their desk without scarfing them all down in one sitting. This is a bit of a personal revelation. :)
I slept too late and missed my workout this morning. I feel weird and sort of uncomfortable/stiff without it. I am both exhausted and exhilarated.
Even after a full, active weekend, it’s a Monday and I have energy. This is a new feeling for me.
After my experimental week with only tea, my one cup of coffee this morning made me jittery, tense, and a bit queasy. I may cut back to half-caf or switch back to tea entirely.
My appetite has severely decreased to what is probably a normal healthy-person level. My three-quarter cup of steel-cut oats with raisins, honey, and milk was almost too much, and was certainly too sweet* (a sensation I’ve almost never experienced). I’m actually looking forward to a light, crispy salad for lunch. Weird.
ON CRAVINGS
I used to crave various foods virtually all day, every day. I constantly thought about ice cream, buttery popcorn, pizza, cheeseburgers, chips, chocolate, etc., and felt near powerless to resist their call. My thought process would simply go: “I want ___.” And I’d get. And eat it. All.
I’ve read that certain foods - like sugar (especially processed sugar like high fructose corn syrup), fake sweeteners, fried food, processed grains, and salt – trigger your body to both shut off the “fullness” response and to crave more sweet/rich/salty foods. Vicious cycle much?
Aaaaaanyway... after cutting out a great deal of that kind of food for a few weeks, I think I’ve broken the cycle! I’m feeling very few cravings, and actually desire to eat more produce and leaner meats. I now better understand how people can eat healthy, how people can think of something greasy or sweet or rich as “too much.” I can even see how people can have treats in their desk without scarfing them all down in one sitting. This is a bit of a personal revelation. :)
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